This is my personal IVF success story.
December 26, 2021
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IVF was an initiation. An intensive course preparing me for motherhood.
Back when my husband and I were trying to conceive, I looked my fertility doctor directly in the eyes and said I would never consider IVF.
I strive to lead a holistic, natural lifestyle.
If I have a headache, I reach for peppermint essential oil. If I get a cold, I’m all about elderberry syrup. If I need to calm my nerves, I grab some fresh lemon balm. If I have an ache, I see a chiropractor or osteopath.
So hearing that my husband and I couldn’t conceive naturally was tough. Real tough.
I know my body well. She’s a sensitive vessel.
How would I react to a host of heavy medications?
And what about side effects and risks?
And with all of those drugs in my system, would my body be a healthy place to grow a new little human?
Related post: 5 Ways to Ease IVF Anxiety.
SIGNS FROM THE UNIVERSE
I’m big on going inward, listening to my heart, and journaling my inner knowings, but because I felt so right about my stance on heavy medication and holding onto my natural lifestyle, I didn’t do it.
Instead, my husband and I continued to try to conceive on our own for another eleven months, manically trying to manifest a miracle …
In it, Gabby talks about her own struggle to conceive and the importance of letting go and allowing the Universe to lead.
After reading it, I got a call from the doctor’s office saying they had an opening in their long waitlist for IVF and we could have it if we wanted it.
That was sign number two.
For some reason, the universe was guiding me to take the IVF journey.
I didn’t know if IVF would even work, but I knew that if I trusted the guidance I was receiving, something good would come out of it.
It was time to step onto the path of the unknown.
In April 2017, I started IVF treatment.
I went to appointments every morning before the sun came up.
I took ALL THE DRUGS.
I had internal ultrasound after internal ultrasound.
I sat in a waiting room for hours feeling into the nervous energy of the women around me.
I had my twenty-seven eggs (a lot!) sucked out.
I got ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome (one of the risks of treatment), was swollen, sore, had to take more medication, and could drink only coconut water for ten days.
I held my pee for a painfully long time after a doctor placed a tiny embryo inside me, so concerned I may pee out my baby.
I continued to get jabbed with HGH injections and use gooey suppositories for weeks after receiving the transfer.
AND IT WAS THE BEST DECISION I’D EVER MADE.
Firstly, for the obvious reason that it brought our daughter into the world, but also for many other incredible reasons I never imagined.
MY IVF INITATION
Here are the main areas of transformation I received.
And if you’re going through the process, you may experience as well.
When it came to the IVF process, I had to surrender control.
My only job was to follow the protocol and show up on time.
I had to completely let go and trust that the Universe had guided me to that particular fertility clinic with that particular medical team for a reason.
I didn’t have to one-hundred percent trust the healthcare system, I just had to trust that the Universe was taking care of me.
A Closer Bond With My Husband
I’ll never forget the first time my husband jabbed me with a syringe. It looked far more uncomfortable for him than it was for me (and I’m not a fan of needles).
We nicknamed the different drugs with curse words based on how much they stung.
He’d always breathe a hiss through his teeth as he pushed the stingy liquid into me. Then we’d laugh with relief when it was over.
I didn’t trust myself enough to push the needle inside me, but I trusted him to do it. And I relied on his support.
Something that I would continue to rely on during the birthing experience, sleepless nights, and bloody knees.
This was the most important lesson I received.
I was totally self-aware that I was an impatient person. And I tried to ease it with things like meditation, yoga, and breathwork to no avail.
Little did I know that IVF was exactly what I needed to “grow” through.
IVF is a whole lot of waiting. Learning to take things day by day. And learning how to be at ease with it all.
I had no idea the level of patience that motherhood would require until I became one, and learning the art of patience has served me well.
There’s a lot about the healthcare system I think is wildly wrong. (Starting with hospital food. Processed, salty, and sugary. And jello? How is anyone supposed to heal on that diet?)
But there’s also a lot of good in it. Bones are healed, lives are saved, and, well, babies are conceived.
I have so much gratitude for the medical team that allowed my daughter’s soul to have the vehicle to come here.
I learned that everything isn’t black or white.
You can find good in everything. And choose to focus on it.
A baby sparks gratitude no matter how she enters your life.
But going through the IVF process — with all of the emotional and physical challenges that come with it — provided me with a whole other level of gratitude, wonder, and awe when my daughter made her appearance.
I didn’t know how strong I was, mentally and emotionally, until I went through IVF.
It tested me. It stretched me further than I thought I could go. And it taught me how strong I am and always was.
And on the day of my daughter’s natural, unmedicated birth, I already knew I could do anything to bring my girl into the world.
Preparation For The Next Phase
Without this initiation into motherhood and the lessons within the experiences, I would lack some of the parenting skills that serve myself and my children the most: patience, open-mindedness, gratitude, strength, and a deeper connection with my husband.
I’m not saying IVF is the only way to receive this — we all have our unique experiences that initiate growth and learning — but for me, it was intensive preparation for the next phase of my life.
And I’m so grateful.
Every painstaking moment was a gift.
And it unfolded exactly as it was meant to.
If you’re feeling nervous about the IVF process, here are 5 ways to ease IVF anxiety.
Are you going through the IVF process? Do you have an IVF success story? If so, I’d love to hear about your personal journey, experiences, and transformation in the comments section below.